It was on a day like this a few years ago where I almost took my life. I was on my way to homestead to treat myself to a milk shake (I was very broke at the time— so this was a big deal)
I was driving my little PT cruiser with a joy that was beginning to fill my heart. It took a few years to get there. Not to experience happiness, rather joy. Happiness is temporary and joy is like a virtue. It’s steadfast.
It took me time to see that the suffering I had endured wasn’t in vain. I was free from it. I was free from being held captive by the pain. I wasn’t subject to it anymore and for the first time on that day I felt so light, free and grateful.
I heard a small voice as I was driving. “You can end it like this. What an amazing way to go, with joy and a blissful day” for a second I thought it was Jesus. I looked over the ramp/ hill that I was near and considered driving myself off it.
BUT THEN, Jesus.
I heard another voice. This one was different. This one I was familiar with. It whispered directly to my heart.
God asked “Are you sure that’s me?” My heart began beating so fast. I had almost been deceived by a lie that came disguised as light. It ran goose bumps all over my body and each hair down my back was up and alert to what had just happened.
My story is a little different, considering I went through the struggle and THEN considered ending it on a “good note”— but this doesn’t change that we should always practice vigilance my friends.
I will always encourage everyone to grow your relationship with Jesus. Speak to Him, even if you don’t hear anything, see anything, whatever. God IS there. He will show up, and when you spend enough time with someone, you’ll be able to recognize their voice much faster.
If you were in a dark room and let’s say your mom is in there with 100 other women calling out your name, you’d eventually find her. Why? Because that’s your moms voice. You know her. You spent time with her.
Get to know Jesus today.
You were made with purpose ON purpose.
