I was a lost 16 year old.
It was the second year without my father around, I was only 14 years old when my beloved pops was taken into custody. Since then, I haven’t seen him out of the government's system in over 11 years. It was a devastating time in my life because there was nothing more that I wanted than to have my father there during that time. He’s truly an amazing dad. (one mistake does NOT define an individual)
I desired greatly to have my father to guide through those adolescent years that were crucial for my transition into adulthood. I wanted him to teach me about self-respect.
Late February 2011, I was basically dragged into a church one morning by my friend's neighbor. I was hung-over from a party we were attending the night prior and I definitely was not happy about being awake at 8am. I expected myself to take a nap in the last pew as my invitees went over to the front.
I was never a church girl, ok? I had never actually attended a church service. In fact, I was so lost that I didn’t know WHY Jesus died.
Anyway, as I was getting ready to drift into slumber all the way in the back, I heard the pastor ask a question: “What do you think happens after you die?”
I instantly inclined my ear, but within seconds I couldn’t hear ANYTHING he was saying. Instead I was having the CRAZIEST encounter of my life. I heard the voice of God. It wasn’t audible, yet it was. It was like this telepathic voice in my heart. WAY more sophisticated than me, WAY more gentler than me.
Trust me— I wasn’t going crazy.
It was God.
His whisper was soooo familiar, yet VERY new to me.
I could tell He knew me, (well duh, He’s the creator lol) I knew He loved me.
I felt a comfort and peace I had never felt. As if He was saying “I see you, I am with you.” This voice was so gentle, yet SOOO powerful.
I began pursuing God’s heart with ALL of mine.
Many things life changing events happened that year. For one, I transferred out of my art school and over to a christian school my family not only couldn’t afford but were EXTREMELY skeptical about. God made a way when there was none. I received an anonymous donation for my tuition and began my junior year asking millions of questions.
He made sure I got EXACTLY what my heart was longing for, which was to surrender my life to Jesus Christ. He knew what was best and He led every step of the way.
I was baptized that November— 11.11.11
You see, my circumstances remained the same, but my heart FOREVER changed.
This personally made the burden of my father being incarcerated MUCH lighter.
I gained a relationship with the one who is the Father to my father.
So I let Him in. And you know what He taught me?
That my purpose is in Him.
That I am more precious than rubies.
That His only desire is to prosper me and to give me a hope and a future.
That I am His daughter.
You see friends, when Jesus called me I was wearing a crop top and tiny shorts & He wasn’t interested in what I was wearing. God wasn’t interested in my imperfect speech. He just wanted my heart.
& guess what? It’s been the best decision I’ve EVER made.
My heart has been transformed, and it is STILL being molded.
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13